


The Clouds Above Will Hold You

by basketcasewrites



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Feels, Based on a Twenty One Pilots Song, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, One Shot, Pain, Sad, Sneaking Around, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 21:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8594251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basketcasewrites/pseuds/basketcasewrites
Summary: Based on ' Before You Start Your Day ' --- Josh is Tyler's only real support system, the only thing keeping him sane.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic for a challenge on the Clique Amino, its based on Before You Start Your Day and has a bit of Joshler --- hope you like it.

He roamed his eyes over Josh's arms as he lay curled on his side on Tyler's bed.  
"Who made you do this?" Tyler whispered, gliding a finger over each new brightly drawn line.  
"They all did." his voice a barely audible whisper even in the surrounding silence

 

Blink! Blink! The soft sound of pebbles hitting against his window reached him through his sleep. His eyes fluttered open as he barely registered the sound, only for them to shut once more. With his slim fair hands he grabbed the covers, pulling them tighter around himself -- cocooning himself in their safety.   
Blink! Blink! More pebbles hitting his window, startling him awake. He shot up in his bed, his back ramrod straight. Still hazy from his sleep he pushed away the blankets and got out of bed. Tyler shoved aside the curtains to the small window near his bed, ramming it up violently. Sticking his head out of the window he stared into the darkness and allowed his eyes time to adjust. Without warning from below a bright light was shone into his still sensitive eyes. He threw a hand up to cover his face and ducked back into his room. He bit down on his bottom lip, fighting the urge to yell out.   
Tyler let a few minutes pass before cautiously peeping out the window again. Glad to see that the ray of light was trained down, he leaned out of the window once again.  
"Josh?" he whispered loudly, trying not to wake up the entire neighbourhood.   
He retreated back into his room, the non-confirmation a confirmation in itself.  
Shoving on the first thing he could find over his boxers he made his way out of the room. Expertly, he crept downstairs, not making a single sound.

 

They had made their way to Tyler's room without incident, each of them having mastered the stealth trick ages ago.  
"I don't know why you always do that -- become this super crazy security guy or whatever," Josh said half jokingly as he sat cross legged on Tyler's bed. "I mean, who else is coming to visit you at four in the morning? The tooth fairy?"  
He laughed at his own joke, all humour dying away when he realised that Tyler wasn't laughing too. He shifted as he sat, watching the other boy stare blankly at the contents inside of his wardrobe.  
"Hey, Ty. You're that concerned about your outfit?" Josh teased, picking up a bundle of socks laying on the bed and throwing it lightly at his friends shoulder.  
"Huh." he turned to Josh, his face the image of confusion.  
"What's going on, Ty?"  
Tyler dropped his head, staring down at his barely showing hands. He wrapped his index finger around a loose thread at the hem of his oversized sweatshirt. The question lingered in the heavy silence between them.  
"You were in my mind." Tyler whispered  
"Again? What happened this time?"   
"You kept drawing, Josh. All over your skin and you wouldn't stop. You just … you just wouldn't."  
Tyler raised his head, meeting Josh's eyes. They held each others gaze for decades that became centuries that became millennia that became eternity.   
Tyler looked away, breaking the gaze and staring intently back into the closet.  
"Maybe it's a sign?" Josh said seriously, keeping his eyes on Tyler.  
The other boy turned to him, the smile on his face brilliant even as his eyes dulled. Without a word, but with a backward glance, he walked out of the room his arms full of clothes.

 

"Don't wear those pants," Josh said, leaning against the closed bedroom door. "When you move it rides above your ankles and you can see your slits."  
"I don't know," he said reluctantly, inspecting his legs as he moved. "There isn't much time to make them look just right."  
Josh moved to the table of drawers, rifling through the highest one.  
"Here," he tossed a pair of bright red socks at Tyler, laughing as he fumbled to catch them. "Put these on --- they'll hide everything and they're really pretty."  
Tyler leaned against the frame of his bed, carefully putting the socks on his feet. He tugged at them, pulling them midway up his calf. With great care he smoothed his pants down before standing up straight.   
Josh watched him with a critical eye as he walked from end to end of the small room, "It's really cool actually: when you walk the pants rides up and you get this peak of red. Who knows? You may even start a trend."  
"Then we'd all be so pretty. Now? What about my shirt?"  
"How about this tee? It's dark and the sleeves are pretty long and, for extra precaution, you can always wear one of the countless hoodies you stole from me."  
"What can I say, Joshie, your hoodies just seem so much more comfortable than mine." He laughed quietly, taking off the sweatshirt he had slept in and throwing it haphazardly somewhere in the room.  
Each and every mark on his skin was visible, in that moment he was completely exposed and completely vulnerable, but it was Josh he stood in front of, not a stranger -- Josh had seen this all before.  
Tyler slipped into the plain black shirt with tight sleeves that went beyond his delicate wrists, then came Josh's hoodie and, of course, he couldn't forget his shoes.  
"I'll be outside," Josh said, lowering his voice intimately. He touched Tyler's arm lightly as he walked pass him and out the door.   
The dark haired boy waited to hear the sound of receding footsteps before beginning the most important part of the morning ritual.  
He ran his hands up and down his sides, neatening himself as best he could. Tentatively, he walked to the mirror, taking great care as he stood before his reflection. As always happened when he stared at his reflection he was hit with the dizzying sensation of looking his own soul in the eyes. A sensation all -- consuming and incredibly difficult to describe. Words escaped him as the feeling took hold, leaving him suspended somewhere between falling and flying.   
"Tyler," he whispered, his voice intimately low, unsettling himself as he locked eyes with his double in the mirror. "I know that it's been a while since I've genuinely done this, since I've really cared. But, I started this and I'm not going to stop now -- I can't just give up on this and I can't give up on you … on us … me. What's wrong? Please, I can't continue this endless cycle of breaking apart without even knowing why. It's so hard already, so much work. Now, these dreams of Josh … why? Why are you so intent on torturing me? Are you alright? Are you? God, you're not … I'm not."

Josh stood outside the door, listening in the entire time. As always, Tyler's voice brought a lightness to his head even as the words he spoke brought him pain. With all his might he had to restrain himself from crashing back into the room and enveloping Tyler in a long hug. Instead, he lurked behind closed doors, eavesdropping on some of the most pain filled conversations he had ever heard.

 

They met outside the front door of Tyler's house, the frost leaking into their bones, freezing them from the outside in.   
"How'd it go?" Josh asked nonchalantly, shoving his hands far into the shallow depths of his jacket pockets as they began to walk side by side.  
"I don't know. All this time I think I've been waiting for something to happen, for anything to happen and, maybe, for something to change, too. I've been keeping my hopes and expectations so high -- believing that this could fix me, or cure me." He paused abruptly, breathing out heavily through his mouth, watching as it appeared and disappeared in front of him. "I give up. On everything. I looked at him today, and for the first time I really saw myself. Not some false creation of a reflection, but me … us as we really are. Broken to the absolute core: beyond fixing, beyond curing. Beyond any kind of help."   
"What if nothings supposed to happen? That change will only come once you stop believing you need to be ' fixed ' or ' cured '? That all this takes place only when you can look at yourself in the mirror and realise you are a worthy human being? Maybe the entire point of talking to your soul like that is just the talking? Talking about it helps, you know? So, maybe that's the whole point?"  
"Like therapy? Like, talk about it and while you sleep magical elves will appear and bless your mess and then ' Bibbity Bobbitty Boo ' you're cured?"  
"That's not --"  
"Life doesn't work like that. At least, it doesn't anymore." Tyler stared out far into the distance. "Do you think that souls talk? That if they could they would whisper to us in the form of thoughts. Guide our existence with little secrets about ourselves. Things that we never even knew. Things that might even safe our lives."  
"What about that little voice in your head?"  
"That's just your conscience, it's your own mind."  
"Okay. But those random thoughts that pop into your head seemingly without any reason or purpose, I'd like to believe, at the very least, that those are soul -- thoughts. Or those moments when you're deep and philosophical, I'd like to believe that those, too, are also soul -- thoughts."  
"I wish that all things were that beautiful in reality."  
They reached the stop for the bus, cherishing their last moments together before their days began. They stood shoulder to shoulder, not looking at each other but staring directly ahead of them. The silence was beautiful and delicate, a simple thing to be cherished*.   
"I'll be leaving you now, Ty." Josh said as clearly as he could.  
He removed his left hand from his pocket, leaving it flat against his side and his arm pressed hard against Tyler's. Gradually, their fingers found each other, intertwining.   
"I'll be missing you now, Josh." Tyler's voice was a monotonous murmur in the wind, as he tried -- as he always tried -- to hold back the tears.  
Slowly, Josh moved to stand in front of his beautiful friend. Leaning forward, he kissed him slowly. His light touch covering Tyler with the perfect glitter that would be his only protection against the harshness of the day.  
Hesitantly, they separated. Sad smiles adorned each of their faces and their eyes gleamed bright from the sheen of tears.  
"It's only a few hours, I'll be back." Josh looked into those two beautiful eyes and wanted to scream. "If you get scared or anxious or if you feel like hurting yourself just think of me, okay -- I'll be in your mind, and you are always in mine. Now, close your eyes and sing your song."  
Tyler felt their hands being disentangled and the feather light touch of lips on each of his cheeks. The sound of footsteps beginning to walk away prompted him to open his mouth. The sound escaped from his lips without them ever appearing in his mind.  
"La-da la-da la-da la-da la-da la-da-da-" he sang the line continuously, stopping seconds later once the sounds of footsteps ceded to be heard. When he opened his eyes and stared down the flat expanse of road, without a building in sight or a corner to turn, Josh was gone. Again.


End file.
